I feel so bad as I writing this, but I truly hate my 18 yr old son. He completely consumes my life with his meaningless life. I don't even know who he is anymore. I look at pictures of him when he was younger and remember how happy and fun he was and full of life and now all I see is bitterness,anger,apathy, and dishonesty. He has tried to kill himself 3 times, he went into a psych facility and it didn't help, he took medications but abused them so now he takes nothing and I refuse to take him to get more prescriptions. He will take any pill he can get his hands on in large quantities. He will not work, has quit school, he is abusive to me and everyone in the house, he breaks things, puts holes in the wall, calls me horrible names. He lies and he steals. He is a drug addict. I know he smokes pot, but there has to be something else. He has told me he takes pills. I hate him. I took him to meet his biogical father and he has not changed either, went to jail Monday to await trial for 5 DUI's and possession of xanax and vicodin. He never paid one dime of child support, not one phone call, not one card, and my son thinks he is wonderful. Like father like son I guess. I made a mistake finding him for my son. My son keeps talking about killing himself, he wants to get a gun or take an overdose. I wish he would just get it over with, he won't go to counseling. He is going to jail for about 30 days for possession of marijuana. I had his bond revoked. When he gets out, he is not going to have a place to live anymore, I am changing the locks. How can I hate someone so much that I gave life to? I don't even know him anymore.