I wish I did have some advice. All I can offer is empathy at this moment because my mind is not in an objective state. You're not alone. I relate to most of what you've said...the drinking, cutting, burning, ed, feelings of self shame and disgust. I want to escape my mind too. I'm also new to the forum and really hope others can offer some help. Oh, what is EMDR? I also see a psychologist but he's not mentioned this term. I've struggled with anorexia and always battle various forms of ed. How has your ed kicked in? (of course, you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. it's just sometimes just talking helps.) Hang in there.