Willow,

I've struggled just as you.. in my case, avoidance was a problem, never felt like I was putting my contribution into the situation and then unhappy with outcomes, who could I blame? Kind of like not voting, ya know?

But that's for me. Everyone has their own way. We can even change those ways if we don't like what we're doing.

This was a good time for this thread, had you waited it might have been too late... earlier, might have been to soon. I think it's important we discuss how to discuss.

I'm feeling some shame for my recent mean-ness that has kindly been pointed out to me. If we must disagree, I think that's good... debate creates mutual understanding if it's handled well. Even if no agreement is reached, understanding can be.

When the disagreement goes beyond the topic and into the personal, it's gone too far.

Just my humble 2

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius