(((((((((((((((sw628))))))))))))))))

As hard as it is, (and believe me, I KNOW it is hard), this is a chance to practice expressing your needs and how you perceive what is going on in your relationship. The first time I had to do that with T, it practically made me sick....I spent a weekend in tears waiting for my Monday appointment, knowing what was coming. But when I went in on Monday and told him what I was thinking, how I was perceiving his actions, etc, I was totally rewarded for it. He heard me, he responded, he took responsibility for his part in things, he didn't get angry. It was good practice for the next time (because, of course, there is always a next time!) and good practice for interacting in my relationships in "real life".

One thing I did, which really helped, is write a LONG letter to him over the weekend. I kept coming back to it and re-reading it, adding things, changing things, making it as clear as possible. I had planned on giving him the letter when I saw him, but I had gone over it so many times as I rewrote, that I went in and could just say what was in the letter.

(((((((((((((((((sw628))))))))))))))))) I know you are in a hard, hard place, but it could be a really important moment for growth and healing.