Actually it was kind of hard to call him "clinician." In the past, the whole clinical thing has been offputting to me. T is not terribly clinical in session, has never given me a diagnosis, nor acted as if I were mentally ill (I'm not), etc. We've been pretty health-focused. So the whole clinical thing is not something I like to own up to, but yeah, he is a clinician, and I pay him for his clinical services! So my titling the thread that was kind of a way to say to myself, "see, being clinical is not so bad, sunny. your T can be a clinician and still be a great guy and give you what you need and be healing." So, I was trying to prove something to myself there, trying to allow myself to be OK with T being a clinician instead of letting myself be pushed away by it. (In the past I have found it objectifying.)

I actually don't mind "coach" that much. It does bring back some good memories. Oddly, today I was accidentally copied on an email between the legal team members (including T). They are getting together in a couple of weeks to have a lunch to debrief on our case. So it will be the 4 of them, sitting around a table at a restaurant, eating, socializing, discussing me and my XH and our D! Arrrghh Aacccck Blecchh. The thing I always hated about the team and not having confidentiality was that I felt like they talked about me behind my back. I haaaated that. Who knows what they would say? It might be true or just c**p and I would not be there to defend myself. One time I was copied on an email accidentally in which they all were discussing me and how to handle me and my problems or whatever. I went ballistic and almost dropped my lawyer because of this. I made her recant and apologize to the team and take back some of what she said (I felt she had totally misinterpreted what I had said and was making me look really bad to everyone, IMO). Oh, yeah, fun times. Anyway, these people are still discussing me and my XH "behind our backs" and it brought up the bad feelings associated with this earlier incident. So, T is still in his coach role, at least for a while yet. Hope they enjoy their lunch.