Thread: Hopeless
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Old Jun 27, 2009, 10:27 PM
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Amazonmom Amazonmom is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: usa
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You have good questions, I appreciate it when people give me something to think through.

She knows about the attempted rape that led to PTSD...but I have not told her of the near suicide afterwards. (I talked myself out of attempting). I find myself freezing up when I try. I tend to flashback and relive the experience when I try.

I have been afraid to tell her I want my good days back. I am afraid of looking like a typical non compliant bipolar patient...my natural highs are pretty mild really. My Zoloft hypomania was why I started Lithium, the drug really sent me higher than I have ever been. What I really want is to not be depressed, but i will settle for mood swings if that's all I can get! I know this is dumb...but I didn't think I was signing up for mood stabilizers and antipsychotics when I asked her for help with postpartum depression...

My hubby is very understanding, and he is super supportive. He just wants me to be happy. He says I am a good mom and a good nurse and a good wife, and he wants me to be able to enjoy those things. He knew me for 10 years before I got diagnosed, and loved me and our marriage. He sees no need to change his attitude towards me or the marriage now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rohag View Post
For some it might be "better living through chemistry," but for others it's "non-living through chemistry."

Are you able to tell your doctor about your past? Are you able to tell her you want your good days back? How understanding is your husband? (Feel free to disregard or not respond to these questions.)

Wishing you renewed happiness, and an umbrella to protect you from any worry about needing to rush your therapy!
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"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!"

Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more.