Thanks everyone for the responses

I've learned to deal with my son's death. The pain will never go away but ... well I deal with that.

My PTSD flashbacks have nothing really to do with that, other than his death triggered them and as I said my meds take care of them for the most part. Its daily living and not sleeping that are my problems now.

I want to work but can't seem to get a job because I haven't worked for eight years and I missed a lot of time that last year I did work so I'm sure my reference from there stinks. Also, I'm 59 and even though employers aren't suppose to discriminate for age they do.

I've also gotten totally out of shape. Sort of snuck up on me, but this last winter I did little except lay around and things got bad. I'm starting an exercise routine. Slow at first, I can't do a single sit-up or push-up at the moment and even the walk to the mail box leaves me winded. I hate it!!

Well thanks again. Guess I just needed some place to vent.