Kaika,

For a long time I just thought I COMPLETELY SUCKED AT navigating!!!My husband goes someplace once and can usually get back there again. I could go someplace three or four times and still get completely lost and panicky. It was awful. Sometimes I would totally FREAK OUT and scream and beat on the roof of my car and cry. That did not go over to well with my real KIDS!!!! I just thought I was stupid and defective.

I am not stupid or defective, but dissociation makes me so much more focused on what is happening INSIDE my mind than on anything around me in the physical world - and at the same time I am hypervigilant in some other part of my mind watching for any sign or hint of danger. OY VEY!!!!! That is not even the half of it.

So, much of what all of you shared is probably dissociative - though probably not exclusively from dissociation - we just seem to have a more extreme sense of being lost. Before GPS - which I haven't learned to use yet, I made written instructions for how to get places AND how to get back home!!! I kept them in the glove box in my car. It beat having hysterics when I got lost. Plus I gave myself extra time to get places and built in an expectation that I would get lost and plans for how to handle that without physical damage to me or the car.

Whoever said you should be easier on yourself is correct. Being harsh about these episodes just ramps up the tension which increases the chances you will blank out from stress and switch. When I learn to be kind and gentle with myself I do better all around. We deserve some kindness, we've been hurt too much as it is.

We are getting more co-conscious as we get help and it does many good things for us all. Hang in there and just keep on keeping on.

Leslie and the Pixies