Does your husband want to address the reasons?

Does your husband want to have sex with other women, or is it just you? I guess what I'm asking, is does he have very low libido in general or do you think it is specific to you (some resentment/anger thing? your weight? etc.)?

I think when women gain weight, it can be a turn off to men. With someone you really care about, it can be hard to say to them that you want them to lose weight, that you don't find them desirable because of that, etc. They don't want to hurt your feelings. Have you asked your H directly about the weight issue? Maybe you could do that in the safety of therapy, since it could be a hard thing to raise.

All those millions of reasons why that you've thought of--have you run them by your H and he says "no, that's not it" to every one? Does he have his own list of reasons?

What are you doing in therapy? Is it possible for you and your husband to ask your therapist why she doesn't want to address the reasons?