TUMI, that sounds really hard, but I applaud your effort to be on good terms for your daughter's sake. I am on good terms with my XH (we just finished the divorce 2 weeks ago), and it has helped our girls a lot. What I think would be really hard about your situation is that when your H is with your daughter, it is with you instead of at his own place. Does he have an apartment or anything where he can be with your daughter separately from you? It would be healthy for him too to develop his own relationship with your daughter that is separate from a relationship when all 3 of you are present. It's a different dynamic and he and your daughter could both benefit (and you could too--you would get some "me" time). How old is your daughter? If she is really young, she might not understand why you are separated from dad but yet he comes and sees you at your house and you do stuff all together like "the old days". She might think it means you are getting back together and it would give her false hope. If she is older, she is capable of understanding better that it does not mean that. I think it is also very painful for you to have him in your house. I think he should get his own place, if possible.

Hang in there. Divorce is hard. (I agree with the counselor idea. My therapist was so helpful to me throughout the separation and divorce.)