awww... thank you guys all so much for sharing
. i will admit i posted this thread and then got really anxious that everyone would think it was a dumb idea. so not only am i excited and proud for all of you, but i'm also part relieved.
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Originally Posted by pachyderm
I am making progress. It's just that it is not straightforward. Too many times when I think that I am lost (again). Then I come out once more and it is good. Until the next time when I go down and can barely remember that there is some change taking place. Or how to get back to that better place.
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yes, pachy, i relate to this so much. my growth comes in a 2 steps forward, 3 steps back kind of fashion. and then after a few months of this pattern, i have this mega sprint of progress where i'm like THERAPY WORKS!!
until i settle back into that feeling of being lost and not being able to hod on to what change i have made.
does it help you at all if you look back to how you compare now to when you first started therapy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foomph
I am actually learning how o communicate with my husband and others. I can talk about my feelings. It's still hard, but I can do it and realized that even though it's hard to talk about, nobody is going to condemn you for your feelings, or just for voicing an opinion. That is huge for me.
I have also learned to set boundaries.
I am feeling again. NOt sure if this is partly because I lowered my dose of meds, or because I'm dealing with things, but I have feelings again.
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(((foomph))) boundary setting and voicing your opinion are such huge things to learn and achieve, i'm so happy for you. also yay for having feelings again!!! do you reckon they are still mixed, or are you noticing that you have more positive than negative ones now?
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Originally Posted by Amazonmom
Realizing that I am allowed to stand up for myself...and not just get plowed down for not immediately agreeing with everything someone else says.
I am allowed to say NO. Of course the first time I have ever said NO to T is when she wants me to try Abilify....she is not happy I chose that moment to say NO LOL.
I am starting to work through stuff I never thought I would ever tell anyone. Is that progress?
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echoing fallenangel that that is progress
. and lol at you saying NO when your doc didnt want you to. for what it's worth though, abilify did zip all for me. and feeling in control of your treatment is so much more important, anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallenangel337
This is a great thread!
I was so convinced going into T that I was going to deal with my SI until I'm 18 and then tell her, just so she couldn't tell my parents. Well...I realized that I couldn't deal with it on my own for any longer, so I sucked it up and told her.. That is, in my opinion, my biggest accomplishment, and my greatest progress in T. And I'm glad now that I did, because I feel like T and I are so much closer after that, and I have so much trust in her after the way she handled the situation.
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awww, fallenangel, this is such great work. i remember how scared i was when i told my school counsellor (i was 16 at the time, totally scared that she would have to tell everyone). so if you shared even half my amount of anxiety, then yes - it's a great thing you've achieved by being so brave. i'm glad you're getting support for it now, and even gladder that you opened up the room for you & T's relationship to grow even further.
[quote=del12;1057875]
I feel that I don't beat myself up so much for who I am and that is a good thing. I actually feel more positve about me than I do negative. I realize there may be times I go back a few steps but I know I can go forward. Finally I feel I am making some progress. YEah! My T is so great![/quote]
wow, del. just wow. that bit i've just highlighted is like... a goal of mine. and to know that someone else has achieved it is like receiving a gift of hope. thank you for sharing, sweetie ((((del12)))).
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Originally Posted by chaotic13
I actually spoke (in the session) directly about being triggered during sex with H. I know I'm a dork. I but OK with at too, today..progress :-)
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my jaw just hit the floor reading this. silly chaotic, i most definitely do NOT think that you're a dork. oh god. pdoc used to ask me how s*x stuff was (back in the days i was still with my ex), and i used to wish i could disappear. half of it was embarrassment (him: catholic 35ish guy, me: 20ish girl in same sex rel'p) but the other half was just complete denial that things like s*x even happened (never mind triggers
).
how good for you that you could address it directly in a session with T! definitely not a dork - please reframe that thought into something like "someone for deli to try and emulate".
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
I told him when he said that, it seemed like he was saying X, and it made me feel Y, and is that what he really meant? (Because if so, I was hurt, pissed off, etc.) ... Now I can identify my feelings and can seek clarification from my T. I hope to extend that ability to seek clarification (and mend little ruptures) from other people in my life. This is really huge progress for me.
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sunny, i've been following how things have been going with you and T and ex-H, and i know i haven't known you long but i have watched you grow so much.
being able to identify how you're feeling and communicate that must feel so empowering. and i love how you sought clarification, because i think i just jump to conclusions about what the other person meant, and it gives me a lot of grief.
Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
My progress has been so slow and non-linear, but when I think back to how I was before therapy, I can see so many changes..
Probably the biggest change is admitting I have needs, instead of always putting others first and then feeling bad that the needs I didn't even know I HAD weren't met. I am able to express my true feelings much more - and feel my feelings.
Although I am much more dissociative in session, I am much more present in my everyday life, which is amazing.
I am able to understand that change takes time, and I have the faith that if I am patient, things like bad feelings I am having WILL change. This has helped me to give up most of my bad coping skills, even the ones that I have had for EVER, like my ED.
I am willing to do things that are scary for me because I know that I have a safe place (T) to return to so I can check in and talk about how I feel and rebuild my confidence.
There have been SO many positive changes since I started therapy. Which is a really nice thing to think about, because it is SUCH hard, hard, scary work.
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tree, you know i
adore it when you share how much you're growing, and how much therapy helps you out. maybe it is because so often i'm faced with similar situations that you have already dealt with, so it's almost like there is dear ((((treehouse)))) telling me the path is safe ahead.
i feel so good for all of us having read your responses. thank you so much for sharing ((((((((pachy, foomph, amazon, fallen, del, chaotic, sunny & tree)))))))).