Hi everyone. Thanks for all your replies. In particular from imhere4u. That is pretty much about how I am at the moment. I feel like I am cracking up. I am seeing a therapist which I have been seeing for about two years but even there I have great difficulty in saying anything. Everything has felt worse in the last few weeks and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I can't see any way of it changing. I get really stressed out every night now. I can't love myself. I hate myself. I hate everything. It doesn't matter how "great" or "nice" or "good" that I am. Nothing changes the way things are. And I can't cope with this. I don't know what to do. I tried to tell my therapist some of this today but couldn't even get it out. I am going on holiday to Thailand in just over two weeks. I was looking forward to it a month or so ago but now with this on me I don't know if I can cope. The last time I was on a holiday I wanted home after the first week and cried every night for the second week until I got home. Everywhere I go, this is with me. I was out with my friend today and I just wanted to get away. I felt like I was going to explode. At some point that is going to happen. The worst time it could happen is when I am in a foreign country on my own. There are a whole lot of things that are churning around in my head. Most of the time I just get frustrated and angry and can't be around anyone.