For the first time in my life, I've had thoughts of cutting myself. This is very strange because I hate the sight of blood and needles. Makes my palms sweaty, my heart race, and I nearly passed out when I gave blood once (a pint as opposed to just samples).

As a child I used to see how much pain I could stand as I felt numb or depressed most of the time. I'd clamp a vice tighter and tighter on a finger or sink my teeth into myself or hold my hand over a flame as long as I could stand. Also smacked myself until I saw flashes of white with my eyes closed just to complete a task or told myself I was worthless if I didn't achieve a certain standard. But never cutting.

I'm afraid to tell anyone. Haven't told my P-doc or my T any of this. Are thoughts really a problem if you don't act on them?