I agree that the "why" is important. Frankly, if your therapist is ignoring this question, I think you should try another therapist, at least for the couples sessions.

My individual therapist said she would rather not provide couples therapy for my wife and I. She felt it would not be fair to my wife when my therapist knows me pretty well and does not know my wife at all. I think she was right.

Sometimes classic depressive symptoms--negative attitude, laziness, grouchiness, indifference, not taking good care of oneself--are a big turn-off. My wife and I both exhibit these things and I don't think it is helping the sexual relationship.

Is he getting a clean bill of health from his physician?