I've seen a number of people talking about mixed up feelings toward their therapist. You go there thinking that this is the person who can help me find my way out, so you look to them for guidance. That puts you in a vulnerable position right at the start. Of course they don't know you from whoever, so they have to start by trying to find the beginning. They can't hope to help you find your way out without knowing your most intimate feelings “as in private, close to your heart”. So it has to get very personal.
My most personal feeling was the one that blew up my emotions. It happened in a moment, maybe two seconds. I buried it so fast and so deep that I didn't even remember it for four and a half decades. That's the thing your therapist needs to help you, to first find and then understand. When you blurted everything out, chances are you blurted out everything but that tiny little thing, that split second when something went click.
All those feelings and all that other stuff I can explain very easily, you just have to make yourself understand, "that's the way I am for now” and don't pay so much attention to to them.
OK, my explanation: Everybody has feelings toward everybody else. They're just little feelings, they go on all the time. Kind of like background programming on a computer. Ordinarily their barely even noticeable, something turns up a little and you semi consciously turn it back down, or if the occasion is right, you might turn it up a bit. They're variable, like a dimmer switch on a light. So you have all these little emotional switches adjusting all the time, the more you get stressed, the harder they are to control.
With PTSD some of those switches get replaced with straight on/off switches. You can't control them. It”s like trying to maintain the speed limit in your car with the accelerator stuck to the floor and all you have to control your speed is the on off switch. That's why you see those post warnings (May Trigger). The writers know that it might flip somebodies switch.
I think I'm going off on a tangent now. I just erased a couple of paragraphs that didn't have anything to do with what we're talking about.

At least with this place you don't have to worry about vulnerability, because nobody knows who you really are unless you want them too.