I hope my NP is ready for me, because I doubt she has had too many clients that want to discuss treatments at the healthcare provider level of knowledge. I was trying to be respectful and be a good patient before, but now I realize not being myself is not going to help me. I am sure that I can still be a good girl while making my point.

they are never ready for us!
As my problems increased, so did my determination to be a part of my health care team...by nature, I am not meek as most everyone knows. It's my body and mind and I want to know what they want to put into it.
Like you, I researched every suggested drug so I could present with knowledge while questioning the suggestions. In all honesty, there was negotiated compliance.
There are some drugs being prescribed that I will not take for any reason. Jmo, but I'm not going to be a guinea pig.

She is really trying to help me, and making decent clinical decisions...it's just my wacky biology getting in the way!
She's earned your trust, perhaps talking with her is still a good decision.

Best wishes,

Catherine