(((((Elspeth)))))

Know you are not alone and are being heard. I know how scary first going to a doctor can be, but they are there to help you. Having to say your fine and do everything is very hard. But know you do not have to just be fine here. Saying how you feel and being honest to you is important. Here you can be who you are and no one will judge you or push you to be fine. I am so glad you could tell us how you were feeling.

Remember depression lies to us in many different ways. And it makes you feel you have to hide. Not wanting to be with people yet not wanting to be alone with your thoughts and feelings is normal. And your heart has the right to feel broken right now.

I am sorry your boyfriend is doing this to you. Maybe it is a time to reflect on that as him separating to sleep with someone else to get even sounds to me like he is thinking of himself. You do not deserve to be treated this way. And I am sorry he is doing this at a time you need him.

I know it feels as though you are alone and that you cannot breath. Take one minute, even one second at a time if you have to. Tomorrow will come and you will make it to the docs. Know you are not alone and if you feel you are drowning--reach out and take my hand----------------------------------------------------------------------------I will sit with you so you are not alone. I know I cannot be there personally, but know I am there in thought. And keep reaching. We care.

dps