Be Strong.....he loves you for who you are not what you did or do to yourself. I make myself picture the pain on my fiances face when i feel like hurting myself, he hates that i have felt the need to do it, but accepts and loves me despite it. Sometimes knowing his pain distracts me from mine and curbs the desire a little.
Dont feel guilty, you do deserve to be loved and let him treat you, you deserve that too.
I understand how you feel bout messing them up but if they didnt love and care for us they wouldnt be here though. Dont let yourself punish your future because of your past, you obviously do make him happy for he is with you and sending you lovely messages. If he knew how much he had upset you with his comment he would be upset too, im sure he was trying to reassure you that he accepts you as you are.
Glad you are getting some help with things and hope you will be happy too.
Take care 
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**Shadowsilence** All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream....change is eternal, perpetual and immortal.
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