Quote:
Originally Posted by thinker22
More thoughts of self harm today. Aren't even words for how I feel. Gaping hole of depression ripping my guts out. On the way home I thought of finding a sharp instrument to shove into my jugular. I won't do it, but that's how bad I feel. Like I'm already dead, but the pain of feeling this way tells me I'm still alive. And I don't want to live feeling this way. It feels like it never ends. I feel like giving up on days like this.
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I've had very similar thoughts before, some a bit more violent or grotesque, some less so. Keep fighting day by day. My T has been very helpful to me in working with these thoughts. They rarely come any more and after my recent slip-up I'm finding it's much easier to get back on track than it ever used to be. My pdoc kinda freaked when I told her about cutting and wanted to raise my meds. If you're afraid of that I'd feel things out first and maybe just tell your T to start with. Either way, one of them really should hear these thoughts so they can help you better. PC will give you all the moral support in the world in the meantime!
