Several years ago, I experienced a terrifying near death experience - I was physically restrained and attacked for several hours. While my attackers were in my face they were smoking cigarettes.

Flash forward to today. Every time I smell cigarette smoke, I am thrust back into the fear of dying - and a panic attack ensues. It's like my brain now associates the smell of cigarette smoke with terror.

As strange as it sounds, I have a phobia of cigarette smoke.

For years now, I have avoided places were people smoke. However, my phobia has now gotten to the point that if I even smell smoke on someone (they don't have to be actively smoking) I am thrust right into an attack.

One time I was in a gas station paying for gas and a person standing in line behind me breathed on me and it smelled like cigarette smoke, that set it off and I haven't been back in the station since.

I had to resign from my job because I couldn't stand to be around coworkers who had just come back from break. I could never take the elevator because it always smelled like smoke.

When I drive, I cannot ever drive with the windows down for fear that I may smell it.

My neighbors smoke, and when they do, they go outside. I have a hell of a time mowing next to their house because I am too focused on watching for them to come outside so that I can escape back inside before they light up.

I realize this fear is extremely irrational but I can't seem to control the reaction that this smell causes me.

I have sought the help of a P-doc who gave me a script for Lexapro. That only made me worse.

I have seen several therapists but all they want to do is talk about the attack. I have not been able to find a therapist who will describe for me in detail and give me directions on what I need to do to overcome this fear. Do therapists like this exist?

I am going to post this in the anxiety section as well. Thanks for reading.