I am new here but have been on other forums and I'm 54 and been "around the block" a few times as they say. From what you've said in my opinion it is most definitely a sign of OCD. You should see a therapist or speak with some of the professionals here. I'm not sure of the rules yet and who in fact may be a professional at this site.
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"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt!"
William Shakespeare
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