I called my p-doc last night and left a message. Miraculously, she called me back. I thought it would take days as usual. She told me I can stop the Effexor, slowly wean myself off it and I have an appt w/her tomorrow. I still feel pretty bad, but at least we're trying something different.

Thank you everyone for your support. I'm so exhausted right now. I even told her my strange thoughts about cutting. Somehow it's easier on the phone than in person. She wants me to go to emergency room if thoughts get unbearable. My guy is always around, so I don't think it will be too much of a temptation, although I get worried if he has to go out shopping or something. He works at home on the computer.

Hugs to everyone. I so badly just want to feel better, but you know how the deep sadness weighs you down like lead and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.