Here I am the mother of a 17 year old, thinking I had done a good job of raising him - now having doubts. He has been officially diagnosed as depressed and is on Prozac and sees as psych every couple of weeks. I try to be patient with his moods, cook his favourite meals so that he eats something and try to be understanding and be there for him - maybe this is whats wrong? Maybe I try too hard?
I ask him what he wants to eat (which is usually something that is totally different to what everyone else wants) defrost the meat or whatever, cook 2 different meals, take the dish into him (as he now wants to eat alone in his room) only for him to say "Oh, I'm not really hungry" and then leaves it. Then when its bed time (usually close to midnight) he decides he is hungry and expects me to bring him some food then - well I think this is unreasonable! But I'm not supposed to cause him anxiety - and I have to make sure he eats.
I also think he should at least clean away the dozen or so half empy water bottles and empy Coke cans in the bin rather than have them all over his desk in his bedroom - but apparently (as the Psych told me) I was wrong to say anything to him. That it sounded like a 5 minute job and that I would have spent that much time telling him off when I could have just cleaned them away rather than cause him any anxiety (and I had to pay her $250!)
Then he says to me "It's a shame you don't clean the house like you used too". Apart from all my husbands computer crap (and the fact that he never throws anything away) and which is oozing out of his office room into my kitchen, we have his dead parents belongings in a house that we didn't have that much room to begin with - it is very difficult to keep a clean house and vaccum when you can't actually get into the room.
I ask him whats wrong and if he wants to talk and he says "I cant tell you anything because you have an attitude" or just tells me "shut up!"
My sister (who has been through 2 husbands and has 3 kids) says to me "You are a bad mother and you shouldn't be jealous of me because I have 3 kids and I am a good mother. I feel sorry for your son.....etc etc." (Believe me I'm not jelous of her situation or her) My mums says "It's the parents fault" (except when I remind them of things they did).
Well I'm sick of it! and so I'm venting here and yes I feel a little better for it.However, I still have a feeling of sadness that I can't do anything that's right. Maybe it is me? But I don't think it can be all my fault?

Lisa