This has happened to me with my T - he has had a hurt back or not been feeling well, and it's really hard for me to accept that he can take care of himself and would not be there if he was not prepared to listen to me fully. He takes time off when he is sick or injured enough to need to. Oddly, I don't think I've discussed this with him, but I've been getting close to it lately. I totally understand that need to not bother people who are hurting... for me it was "Don't bother people who aren't feeling well or are hurt, because then even if they are able to be there for you a little now, if they get bothered they won't be there at all and you'll be alone again."

Try your best to discuss this with T, as hard as it may be. It could yield valuable insights.