(((((treehouse)))))
One of the things about being raised in an alcoholic household is that often times things are seen as very black and white, and there is little room for grays.
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I just can NOT put my needs ahead of his when he is hurt.
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I see that as being black and white thinking. IMHO needs do not need to be mutually exclusive.
Let me give you a simple example...
Lets say you have a headache, but your kids are hungry and wanting dinner. Would you ever expect your kids to not eat dinner just because YOU weren't feeling 100%? I'm guessing that you might first take an aspirin (take care of your needs first), and then make sure your kids have dinner (take care of their needs.)
Definitely talk with T about this. I know it must be really, really scary to even think about talking to him. Maybe it will help to remind yourself that T *does not* think in black and white like your parents did.
Not sure if this helps...if not, ignore it, and just know you've got my support!
