Hi Treehouse,

I'm sorry you're struggling so much about this.

It makes me want to cry to even think about it. I can't imagine going in there and being honest and telling him my real feelings and needs while he's hurt.

Try to imagine it. What bad result do you foresee happening if you do?

And since it's his back, it will probably be a long term thing. I can't do it. It's way way way way too scary.

What is the scary part?

I hate that I have come so far in therapy and in some ways I feel like I'm right back at the beginning because of this.

I don't see you as being back at the beginning. I see this as a very important stage in your therapy. This situation is ripe for allowing you to confront your previously held feelings and beliefs about having needs in an alcoholic family. . .

Consider some questions. . .you can reply or just think about them. . .

What does it mean to you to have needs, while at the same time others have needs?

How do you manage these types of conflicting needs?

What prompts you to put other people's needs ahead of your own?

What thoughts and feelings do you tell yourself in making the decision to put others first?

Is putting other people's needs first always the best option?

Did doing that with your alcoholic family always turn out well?

How does putting yourself second place serve you now?

What is the scary part about expressing your needs to your t, while knowing his back hurts?

Will talking about your needs mean you don't care about his needs?

Will emphasizing your needs automatically diminish the importance of his?

So much material here. . . so much!

Hang in there, Treehouse! I see this, not as being back at the beginning, but as being at an important crossroads.