I remember my last use. It was hell. I never wanna go there again. I had a lady when I was in Tinley Park Mental Hospital tell us in MISA that using has three outcomes "institutions, jail, and death". I have only one option left and that is death and I am not ready to go there so I am staying clean and sober. At first I wanted forget my addiction, then came to relize that I have to embrace the fact that I have an addiction and I am trying to fix it.