Thank you all for your kind replies and yes hugs are welcome and enjoyed

I"ve struggled with this for a very long time, ever since my teens, I"m having a hard time grasping the full concept of what bipolar disorder is, wading through the lies to get to the truth

I was on paxil for awhile because of PTSD, but it never did anything to stablize my mood, so I"m off meds at the moment, I know bad me

I really need to go back to therapy

I really need to find a pdoc to handle my meds

I really need to do a lot of things, but I seem to never get there

sorry manic tonight, hard, very hard to focus, or sleep, i'm on day three of about five hours sleep for the past three days, can't sleep, having problems eating, and just wanting to go beserke

I'm me in here somewhere, just have to find me first

peace out brussel sprout
sparrow