P7, I wanted to reply to show you that I do care and that I want to help too

Try not to beat yourself up so much about this. It was a slip up and I guess maybe you didn't feel ready to stop SI'ing yet? I don't know, but that's the way it seems, because you replaced one harmful thing with another.

You keep cycling through it because you're used to doing it, you're used to cycing through it, I know it's hard to break that, honestly I do.. But if you want to break the cycle, you need to work hard - sorry if I sound harsh - I've been working my butt off in therapy and it's been noticed and it's paying off. It will soon pay off for you, too. I look forward to the day I can see written by you "it's paying off"

In the meantime, you need to take care of you. I know I sound oh so hypocritical, but it is true... You deserve to be taken care of.. You've helped me so much and you've sat with me when I needed it, now it's my turn to sit with you and ask that you please take care of you, even if it's just today...

You deserve love and kindness.