...and with my feet firmly back on the ground...

i think i'll mention something to pdoc tomorrow, and maybe decide what to do with Austin-T after that.

my gut feeling is that pdoc really will ask Austin-T what is happening, because pdoc gets really protective and tries to keep me safe (even when i ask him not to). e.g., when Austin-T told me i was giving nothing, pdoc offered to chat to Austin-T and tell him to back off. and it was sweet of him to offer, but i said no thank you because i could deal with this myself. but pdoc still managed to track Austin-T down (in the tea room ) and told Austin-T that i'm the client he has the most respect for in terms of the amount of effort i put in to getting better. pdoc didn't tell me he did this - Austin-T mentioned it a week later. i was really chuffed and pleased .

so undoubtedly pdoc will probably have a thing or two to say. i'm still uncertain about whether i even want to continue with Austin-T now, because i feel so rejected... but i'm gonna just try and sit with this and see how things develop.

please keep your fingers crossed that i dont cry while telling pdoc tomorrow. i really dont want anyone to know how hurt i am about this .