Leslie is absolutely right, we don't need to dig for the trauma of the past. When the time is right it will start to surface. It could be in dreams, or just flashes of feelings or perhaps even body memories.
I had no clue at all until I was 44 years old. And then I had over nine years of retrieving the memories and processing them and being healed of the trauma. I had no sense of being dissociative until a few years before that. Different ones would serve as host for years at a time. I never understood why I couldn't remember certain things etc. Anyway, when the times comes it will surface and the painful work begins. I'm not convinced I am the same host that went through those nine years but it's OK. I am functioning and learning who I am right now and doing life and relationships better all the time.
Sometime during the years before it started coming out I was praying to be shown my truth. I was tired of the depression and feeling like a phony and always hiding. I believe that prayer was answered. I now know my truth.
One day you will too.
__________________
However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced, and we can go on to be whole.
|