Thanks Heather for the fresh start...
maybe then I can feel a little better about being here...

My name is somebody... not ready to give real name just yet.
I have suffered depression since I was 10, that is when my mother died and my dad remarried the wicked stepmother 9 months later... she didnt allow me to remember my mom and she told me she didn't like me the first day my dad married her. Guess she found me a threat.

I have severe depression, with psychotic episodes, social anxiety disorder, and dementia...I was able to hide the depression from my husband for years until he joined the Navy 7 years into our marriage and we were seperated and I had suicidal thoughts when ever he was away from me.

We were married for 15 wonderful years...6.10 years ago he died from cancer... I got to hold him till he took his last breath =0( the suicidal thoughts are my way of dealing with seperation... I have attempted a few times without success... I have been in the hospital twice...both unwillingly... first time was a real mess...I ended up 4 hours from home in handcuffs and ankle chains all the way there. The second time I was in I had electric shock treatment... really sucks if you need to remember something...

I have two wonderful children..both are grown up and I am very proud of them both... I also have a grandson that is 10 months old...when I get him my whole mood changes... I don't feel depression at all...

I don't go out of my house unless to see my pdoc or T...my son still lives at home so he does all my running for me..=0)
guess he is an enabler...

I would like to thank you all for being so caring and giving... you all are so sweet...(((((((GROUP HUG)))))))