Hi folks,

I am so disgusted with myself right now. All I do is eat. I can't stop! My weight has slowly creeped from 124 to 185 in the past few months and I don't know what to do! It seems like I can never get full--I literally gorge until I feel sick and the food starts backing up in my throat. I'm scared. I used to be exrememly overweight when I was a child and literally starved myself down to a normal weight....I didn't eat anything solid for 5 months....and now all of my hard work is being undone by my relentless gluttony. Why? I'm not even that hungry all of the time! I just don't know what to do......

*sigh* I'm so ashamed. I tried to make myself throw up a few times (in part to cut calories, but also to relieve the pressure on my stomach), but I just can't. I have this phobia about vomiting (watching or doing), so I just can't do it. Oh man....

And I'm getting no help from my T, either. "Oh, just don't eat when you're not hungry," he tells me--well DUH! If it were that easy, I would have stopped already. I'm afraid of doing damage to my stomach....maybe extending it permanently.....I just don't know. It's terrible.

If anyone has any advice, please share. I don't want to be a pig anymore........

Hugs to all,

~Alexiel