Hi ginger,

It can be so hard in a blended family sometimes. Children can pull the parents in directions that make it very hard and shake the core of the family. Whenever there is a divorce, the children always think there is a chance that mom and dad will get back together. If another partner comes into play, it's so easy for the kids to blame that new partner because it douses their dreams of their family being together. I know it did for my kids and it was tough working through it, but we did ok. I've found the kids can be good at making a parent feel guilty too. Once that happens, the parent can have a real difficult time setting boundaries and maintaining them, especially when we try to soothe our children and make it up to them in not so healthy ways.

I'm not really sure if your husband is staying away because he is blaming you and your kids for his rift with his daughter, or if he's staying away for other reasons. Avoiding the situation certainly isn't a good thing is it?

IMHO I think it's time for the two of you to do some really deep communicating and get to the bottom of why the change in attitude. Maybe it's time to go to a marriage counselor. If you are affiliated with a church, you could also go for counseling there as well. Too often we try to assume what the issue is with our partners instead of talking and asking questions.

I truly hope you can both have a heart to heart talk and clear the air a bit. I wish you and your family well.

Take good care!

sabby