Ok, so today I went to T to talk more about my SI. I told her that, last night when I went to do it, I couldn't bring myself to do it as much as I usually do. It just doesn't seem as worth it anymore, because it's hard for me to hide, and I hate having to explain to people why I always wear bandages. But the thing is, for some strange reason, part of me doesn't want to stop. Part of me doesn't even want to get better. I don't know why. It's like a strange sense of thrill and relaxation when I do it. I miss it already... I know I've posted a similar thread before, so just ignore this one if you want to.