I just came back from having lunch with my dad whom I had not seen for 6 months due to my mental state, it went rather well, we stayed away from touchy subjects. It was nice to see him although he has been operated for cancer lately and is waiting for the results.
I managed to stay calm for the two hours spent with him but as soon as I got in my car I started crying, I felt so sad...I have this nagging feeling ever since I left him that this will be the last time I see him. We live 3 hours from each other so we usually see each other every 2 months but I havent been able to get up there lately and he is getting older (83) so he doesnt come down here anymore. I love him so but when we hugged goodbye I did not feel the connection, I am aware that I havent been able to feel as much lately but it makes me sick to think depression has taken my ability to feel.
Just so sad and angry at this horrible disease....or sickness...or is it real??