Awwww....Pom....

Boy! Can I relate to what you are experiencing....primarily about the phobia.

I'm sooooooooo bad....(lol..."how bad are you?").....I'm so bad that I have to not only take liquid valium an hour before procedure, be sedated for procedure, but have daughter sit on my legs during procedure while under sedation because I end up either sliding out of the chair forward, or back up into the chest of the Dentist...Gawd!

I have been known to slap the dentist in the face, or the instruments away from my face, (while sedated, no less)...especially as soon as I hear that drill start up....and the closer it gets to my face...the more I begin to panic.

It took me years of avoiding the dentist, and many loss of teeth to finally have God grant me some relief by directing me to a tiny, family dentistry (asians...who, in my opinion have proven to be the MOST caring of all...don't mean to include the nationalities here, but it IS the truth). Ironically, his name is Dr. Au., (pronounce "Ahhhh"...lol...how appropriate).
I began with the primary dentist for adults, who somehow was able to pull a molar without even sedating me...OMG! THAT was nothing short of a miracle. I was so impressed with him that I not only had to shake his hand, but have referred anyone I know to him.
Well, after that small miracle of his, I didn't hesitate to make further appointments to (hopefully) save what was left inside this mouth filled with teeth doomed to eventually falling out. It was the next procedure that convinced him that I was a "bit" more than he could contend with, so he hands me over to his sister, who is the child dentist....lol...
She proved to be able to handle my phobia and I've been blessed with their wonderful care ever since.
Still, though....my phobia is just as strong as it's always been, but they are prepared for me and know what to expect. They always make special arrangements for my visits....LOL.

My dentist strongly advises against dentures..to avoid them as long as anyone can, especially if you have strong bone structure.
I am seriously cavity prone. My teeth are going bad regardless of how well I care for them, (hereditary issues and poor health care while younger)...Not the greatest combination for future years.

My dentist advises to avoid dentures as a solution primarily because they tell me that the way they design them anymore, there is an increasingly growing amount of dissatisfied patients who have to deal with all this new technology, and new means of "improvements".

I remember when my parents had their dentures..(gawd...more than 40 years ago...?). They had teeth pulled. Immediately had fittings put in. AND they do not have to use all that denture glue crap to keep them in place.

Both my hubs and sister now have dentures, and thought it was something that really couldn't be avoided without major reconstructive works. Anyway, neither are satisfied with results. Hubs has to use that denture glue, (though his set, both top n bottom, still look good and fit reasonably well), and sister HATES hers...cannot find a set that fits well...will not wear bottoms because of the pain they create for her.

Pom, perhaps you can seek a child dentist who can suffice your needs?
I'm so sorry that you are going through this trauma.
(A good way I've found to tell a good dentist too, is to sit in waiting room and listen for any patient cries....lol)

I sure hope you do find a dentist who can deliver you some relief to your personal situation. I know they are far and in between...but I know they are out there.

My best to you.

Shangrala