hi
I am kinda new here. But I guess its okay to say this. When I went to college I was sitting with a bunch of kids my age. They were talking about the past. What????? people are supposed to remember past? How could that be?? I thought the past was not remembered. whats going on here.

I set out to figure this out. It took years. But what I finally understood is that often it was not amnesia at all. It was dissociation. I was not there. I was off someplace. My pension for leaving was well honed at a very early age. My body, and enough of my soul self to keep it alive, would remain..... while the rest of me would be off to places unknown.

Finally 10 years later, after much awareness that had been focused on the subject, I was standing in the kitchen with my roomate walking away. I went into the livingroom where she had gone. I asked her if she had been trying to talk to me. She said yes. And it scared her.

You see, no one was home to answer her. I had left. But this time i came back in time to actually realize that someone had been trying to get through to me. So yes, I do believe that I have amnesia. But not all of it was that. Some of it was that i wasnt there.

17 years ago, I went to a shaman who does soul retrievals. After the second soul retrieval, she told me that my soul would have to be pieced back together. I said you look as if that info is strange to you. She said, yes, she had never been told that before. And so I worked with her over a period of 3 years doing soul retrievals for all the parts of me that fragmented. The parts that could be brought back were. They were always healed by her guide and her before being brought back.

Still that alone has not solved things. It takes other work also. All I guess I wanted to say is that some of what looked like amnesia for me was that i was simply not there. Even though my body was. The lights were on but really I was not home.

I live in great pain and hope to be able to heal some of it by coming to these forums. Blessings.