I feel gross, dirty. I've only had sex with one guy, my boyfriend of over a year. We love each other. He has had sex with one other person before. I go through times where I feel gross, dirty, disgusting and I don't know what to do. When I dissociated a part of me would try to clean myself... I just can't feel clean. I just feel like I need to write this right now. I feel ashamed, dirty, filthy