Welcome chiachick,

You ask great questions. I too wonder how much people use their PTSD as an excuse versus the REALITY of how much PTSD DOES impact and affect one's path through life.

This thread in this forum was my attempt to understand better what happens when someone has an explosive triggered response: Taking responsibility for your actions when triggered

There are numerous links in the resource directory up along the top of the forums about PTSD. The degree of PTSD can vary widely from person to person.

Some ppl are able to handle their traumatic issue in shorter term therapy w/o meds. Others require twice weekly or more therapy and medications to help stabilize the symptoms of PTSD enough to function in daily life. Still others are fighting moment to moment as their PTSD is so severe it overshadows almost all rational thinking and becomes the core drive of that person. It is a horrible disorder no matter how light or severe one has it.

Many wounded ppl turn to fields of help as they believe their own journey gives them insight into healing that others lack. Often it creates a huge blind spot as well for these ppl to their own issues.

Is your friend in therapy herself? If she isn't in therapy then I would suggest that you take care of yourself and your personal boundaries by being firm in what you will tolerate from this friendship.

You have nothing to feel horrible about. I understand you are feeling as you are feeling........those feeings are yours. But with a friend like this who is either too ill to recognize her inability to take responsibility for her own healing or is too stubborn to admit that she is in need of more help you have to step back and let her make her own decisions.

With what you've shared here about the three years you've been friends with her I doubt she'll change...but we never know and hope isn't a bad thing to have when it is based in some grounded reality. All you can do is take care of your needs and remember that a being a good friend doesn't include being a doormat.

p.s. with your name I picture the chia head of course and now wonder if you mist your hair?! funny image in my head but I'm odd that way