Jai jai, I read your reply to the other post. If you can't get a hold of anyone for help like a psychiatrist or therapist and you are SIing or thinking about it, please go to a hospital emergency room. I know you don't want to leave your home, so if you can't, please call 1-800-SUICIDE or 911. If you don't feel you are a harm to yourself that's one thing, but if you are having peculiar or destructive thoughts, please get a hold of someone who can help you. Don't give up, okay. And please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are getting help. This is a temporary feeling and not worth it to self harm. We care about you. Take care of yourself or call someone who can.