<font color="blue">Hi. My name is Nicole, and I am new to the boards.
I was diagnosed about 6 yrs ago with Dysthymia depression. I'm still not sure what it's all about. I have been to about 5/6 different doctors. I've been on 3/4 different meds. Nothing seems to work for me. I don't stick around long enough in therapy to have it work. To me, I feel it is a waste of time and money, but I really want to get better...
Saturday I had a rough night. I was hanging out with a bunch of people, mostly my boyfriend's friends. I get along ok with the guys, but it takes me a while to get along with girls. I get shy and these girls are a lot different than me. They smoke, do drugs.. and I don't have a lot in common. Anyways, I was gettig a little miserable Saturday, and my bf was getting annoyed with me being like that. We got into a huge fight over it. He says I'm a very negative person (which I am). I just get very jealous of everyone around me. I don't have too many friends so it bugs me a bit not being able to have fun stories of the past to share w/ everyone.
I always seem to get like this when we are around his friends. I just want to be able to get along w/ everyone somehow (I don't need to be their best friend).
I need to find a way to get out of my "funk" of being so negative.
I also tend to have a low self esteem. I'm not overweight, but I'd like to lose 15 lbs. I'm pretty...sometimes.. it depends on what mood I'm in.
I would appreciate any help anyone could give. If anyone has ideas on how to start being a happier person, I would be so thankful.
We'll start there.. ther are more things about me.. like how I'm a very sensitive person, and I hate criticism, even constructive... I take everything personal...
Thank you for listening. </font>