Quote:
Originally Posted by deliquesce
i think you posted a similar thread in the relationships forum a month or so back, yes? if so, i think you mentioned that you get pretty regular sex friday through to sunday, and sometimes even on a monday. my thoughts were that she was simply tired having worked tues-thurs, and that sex on a friday, sat, sun (and possibly mon) is above norm for a couple  . the average (here in australia, anyway) is twice a week.
the other thing is that you seemed to be having issues with her hanging out with some of the people she worked with (her clients). it seemed to be a pretty big issue between both you and her a while back, and i wonder if it ever got resolved. i personally didnt see a problem with the behaviour you were describing of her, so i wonder if her wanting to "break free" and go get drunk and be promiscuous is a sort of rebellion against you kind of "controlling" who she can and can't socialise with? does she get time to go out with her friends alone, or a regular basis? or is thurs night through to mon night usually spent doing couple-y things with just the two of you, or socialising together with other people? i am not saying that you are being controlling and not allowing her to see other people, but it is easy to fall into that pattern and forget to break out of it. it certainly was something that bothered me a lot when i was with my ex, but because it was a pattern (it crept up on us gradually) it was difficult to be like "ok, i'm making an effort to have a social life apart from you". i think it's an important thing for a relationship to survive, especially (maybe?) when you are younger. because you don't want to feel like you are missing out on growing up with your peers (i'm 24 now too). |
Yeah, I did post a thread about our sex life becoming "routine". As in theres no real surprise to it.. it just happens on certain days.
Those problems that you are talking about are from last october (in 2008) and they did get resolved between us - Now that this client (who isn't her client, by the way - he was from another residence) openly tells people that she is in love with him, she's even admitted she let that go way too far. We talked about it - it's been forgiven & in the process of being forgotten.
Regardless of whether you saw any indescretions in her behaviour or not, believe me.. she was breaking the law!
I am not a control freak. She's free to hang w/whom she likes.
Our time together is either just us or with other friends. Just this past weekend we went to a bon-fire with a bunch of people she works with and other friends and had a great time.
She hangs out w/those friends quite a bit when i'm at work or with my friends. Typically, thursday night - she comes home and that's that. She doesn't want to do anything (understandably so).
Friday - i'm at work all day - unless we have plans to do something that evening (shop, go on a date, etc) she'll typically go hang w/her friends and be home by 6-6:30 for dinner. Usually, she cooks or we buy something, but I cook every now and again. (For the record, I don't ask her to be home at that time.. thats her choice. i'm very capable of making dinner for myself & for others when needed - thats her choice to make)
Saturday - See above.
Sunday we're usually spending lounging around the house together, playing games (monopoly, skipbo, or something on our xbox or ps3), watching movies from netflix or whatever, just hangin' out. Sometimes, we'll go browse at stores to see things we may need/want in the future. Things liek that.
Monday - See Friday.
I dont think that i'm a controlling person and I really don't believe she would stand for it if i were.
At any rate - we've been doing pretty good as a couple for a while (minus the whole seperation discussion) - The whole third party sex partner issue is new and confusing. I don't know what to make of it.
P.S
For the next week - she's out of town w/her mother. They're helping her grandmother move from A to B and taking some leisure time for themselves to spend together - and will be gone until Sunday. Maybe the time apart will do us some good.
Later this month - She and I are going on vacation (as we do every year)
I like to think we have a good circle of friends and we keep in touch w/our families and I dont think either of us are being constricted on our social lives.. For the most part though, my friends are hers too and vice versa.