Confused on actually what to say to you. Sounds like you are in an abusive, toxic envioronment which you probably already know. The only way to get out is to get out b/c you are right I think that everything you do to gain some self confidence and self esteem might be almost hurt in the envt. It's like you leave your T's office and with some understanding and hope and then you get home to a turbulent place and at least for me I feel trapped.
Your family is what they are and it is not your fault that they are like that. You are surviving the best way you can. Have you talked to your t about some things that you can do to help the situation.
Have you asked your husband about joint counseling? Talking to your T, might be the most helpful to figure out a game plan to deal with all the choas.