Perfectly said, Tishie.

Lived long nuff already to know that one from personal experience, which is exactly why I'm not wasting anymore time "goin through the motions".

Time flies by so fast, (and seemingly increasing so the older I become).
Because of the fact that I'm already past my halfway mark, I've done some serious soul searching, (which I have done in the past, but I ignored, nontheless). This time, however, not the case.

I've asked myself if I'm willing to spend the last of my "good" 20 years, (which may be longer...but, I always try not to take for granted the unexpected surprises life delivers...lol), living under the conditions of other's expectations...which, I suppose, is what I've been doing all these years. Just...going through the motions, attending to the needs of those around me, convincing myself that this is the noble thing to do. Which, might I add, never delivered me a sense of self-gratification.
Sure, I felt confident and satisfied that those I love are having their needs met...but fact remained, that mine were not, whatsoever. The more I ignored my personal needs, the louder they cried for attention.

Chances are, if it weren't due to the abusive marriage that I am leaving, (now leaving physically....I've left it emotionally years ago), I would more than likely still be "going through the motions" of contending to the needs of my loved ones. But, because of the fact that I simply cannot take it anymore, it has projected me into focusing on my needs as primary, finally ... delivering me to asking self the question, "Do I want to spend the last of my good years miserable?"

Moving away. Starting new. With little burdens weighing me down, anymore.....and it's about damn time.
Life IS good. Life IS fair. Life IS what we make of it, and.... Life is MINE.



Funny..how this thread went from my asking a random (and yes, quite broad) question bout age, to that of obtaining what we deserve in life....
Sorry bout that....

Shangrala