Oh Berries

I am so sorry you are feeling this way, you are a low point in your treatment and obviously havent found the right combo of meds just yet. Let me tell you I spent a long time exaclty like you and I was always thinking why me. I stopped one day and said ok enough is enough I am taking more responsibility for this, I am the one who is going to manage my illness and all my medical team, well, I look on them as my employees. It is there job to get me right and I would from that point on accept nothing but the best from these people. No more would I accept ""Here take this and this and we will see"" instead I questioned everything and I said ""why, how long before we know the result and if this fails what is your plan" I learnt everything there was to know about medications and read up on new trials and asked to get involved in trials of new treatments. I co-operated with my Therapist as the key in my team as it was to him I ccould vent my frustrations and concerns and we developed a team plan together to get me to a place where I no longer just accepted what was being done to me rather I drove the ship so to speak.

Educate on everything you can, be the boss and dont be afraid to say no once in a while. I know you a little bit and I know you are intelligent and willling to learn about this, so do it. And dont forget to do all the other things outside of just the medications to help along your managed life with Bi Polar.

If there is anything I can do or anything you want to know, please let me know Berries.

Paddy