Abby said:
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...my eyes fixate on something, usually very faraway trees through the window and i feel as if though i am out there with them, a long way away. At these times i'm not in the body sat in the chair...
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I relate to this. My body doesn't feel like mine and sometimes I'm aware that my arms and legs don't feel as if they are there. They feel like they are in weird places. (no wonder I never tell anyone this stuff!!)
The part about visually fixating on something...I do that too. I can use the muscles near my eyes to make all colors go away and turn everything I see into gray, black and smudgey white. Sort of like a negative image.
I learned to do this when my mother would beat me. It was a coping skill. Thanks God I don't have to resort to it like I did as a child!