thanks idon'tknow!! It is so hard to fight the feeling of giving up and I don't know that I have that much in me to fight it! I just did a stupid thing and text my friend and told them about it. I don't know why I did that because that is just going to make it worse. I know I won't get an answer and I guess I was/am hoping to get an answer. See I do nothing but make things worse for myself. I do it to myself so shouldn't I have to deal with it?? Does I deserve to continue when I bring it on myself? No I'm not worth helping or the effort to get help.

I hate myself right now for what I did and sending that text...now going to spend the rest of the night in the dark and blaming myself