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Jul 06, 2009, 09:28 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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I had a really strange experience with a couple of my alters today and I find myself questioning if these were real experiences or if my mind is for some reason running amuck and creating these thoughts and ideas. Internally, I am being told by a few parts that it IS real and that everything is okay because they "took care of it", but I can't help but question it.
I was wondering if any of you would be comfortable offering some guidance on this? The question is, do any of your insiders have intimate (sexual) connections with other insiders? This is blowing my mind!!!!!! 
Some insight into what happened.....
Moms in town....we had a big disagreement yesterday and today the system's been really closed down and feeling quite depressed and confused. Our most mean and dangerous insider, who isn't allowed to come out, was taunting us and telling us to do horrible things to our Mother. Amber is very angry right now and she wants justice and she does not know how to deal well with anger. She was getting very triggered from David's taunts. Sometimes he says things to try and get her to do them and it was very upsetting to the system. It's ugly inside right now. 
We were at Mom's storage shed and Mom is going through some old things of hers. She finds a document my father wrote to me in 1996 and gives it to me and says "you can do what you want with it. I don't know if you want it". Seeing this document brought some really bad memories back and Amber was really wanting to lash out. That's when the tormenting got worse. This is where it gets strange, as I have never "witnessed" this sort of thing happening. Angeleigh, my 19 yr old insider, went to David's room and went inside!!! I SWEAR I wasn't actively imagining this...but it was like it was being shown to me in my head like a movie and I didn't have a choice but to watch!!! I could see her standing in front of him and he was sneering at her, but he looked confused at the same time.
She kissed him.......... Passionately!!!!! It made me sick to see this. The vision stopped after that. The next thing I know, David was no longer taunting us and the bad thoughts stopped immediately. I could hear Angeleigh in the distance crying and I had this deep rooted feeling of disgust with myself. One of my littles came forward and said that Angeleigh was the only one that could really control David and that she is the only one that can "keep him satisfied". David HATES men!!! He hates the male genitals!!! But there is something about sexual stimulation that intrigues him, yet it is such a shock to his system that he kind of just shuts down himself!! He's sick!!!! We don't like him, and he scares us
Am I crazy? Has anyone else ever had one insider pacify or satisfy another in this way? I know I have been working with my insiders and that they are at times capable of comforting one another, but this has never happened before and as much as I feel like it is a real thing, it seems so out there that I question if I am just really crazy and playing mind games with my own self?
I know I get long winded and I'm sorry this was so long. If anyone has anything to offer, please help!!! 
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