I'm new to this forum. It has taken a life time of finally figuring out my mother. The bottom line is , she is narrisistic, paranoid and a martyr. Great huh? My whole life she has placed the blame on my father. Yes, he had faults too. I'm the only girl with two bothers. It has taken this long to figure out that this women doesn't want us to have anything to with our father, but she would never admit it. There is not a single thing I can say to this women without it be twisted or confused. She takes every thing she hears and bends to fit her needs. She is isolated now since my step-father passed away last year. First I lost my step-dad, then aunt, then gradmother , then my dog/child. Back to mom. She has always put me in the position of listening to her and now caring for her. I have always argued with her and till this day (actually, yesterday) hung-up on her. She goes into martyrhood for along time if I don't call her back. I can't stand it anymore, she is 76 years old and getting worse. Now she wants everyone to take care of her and yet she will not travel. She says she holding on to the house for the kids. Well, we are not moving and do not want the house. She can't hear that either. The women does not acknowledge my life or what I do and tells me I'm like my dad. I really believe she never liked me to begin with and my dad told me once "she is jealous of you". I couldn't see that till know. Especially, when she throws my education in my face.I'm at a point in my life and at an opportunity in pursue the things I 've always wanted to do. Instead of a positive conversation with her, it becomes negative and quilt throwing. This type of discussion brings me down and effects my entire life. Last words from her yesterday before I hung-up were, " I'm dead to you, just don't bother with me". Part of me wants to do just that. The last time it lasted 6 months and then Joe died and I never spoke to him again. Someone answere me, I need some advice. Thanks.